Thinking About Becoming a Meme Generator

by Jonathan Gerard
Thinking About It
January 2016

I’m thinking about becoming a meme generator. I think I’d be good at it. I always think of ironic and strange commentary in accordance with the images that come into my view. My ideas are always surprising too, which is important for a meme. Like, even though I came up with the clever idea, I’m still surprised. I say to myself, “Where did that come from?” But I never know. I just don’t know.

Do I ever tell people the intricacies of my internal meme generator? Of course not. It’s too subtle. Too indirect. Not that you would have to think hard about it. That’s not what it’s about. It’s actually not about anything. Do things have to be about things? I don’t think so. Sometimes it just is what it is and there’s nothing you or I could do about it. Also, it’s really hard to explain the context of a joke that worked in your head. What am I supposed to say? “Now, imagine there’s a picture of Beyoncé with a lot of make-up on, perhaps too much . . .” Memes just don’t work like that.

I actually didn’t know what a meme was until last week. But it’s not like you need a four-year degree in it to understand what it’s all about. It’s all right there in front of you.

I wouldn’t throw out cheap acronyms in my memes. I’m not about that. No WTF LOL OMG JK FMLs here. I’d be more of an ironic throwback to the 80s or 70s meme generator. Remember Linda Marsh? Executive Producer of The Facts of Life? Oh no? Now you will. Listen, I don’t need to prove to you right now that my memes will make you laugh, stimulating your medulla oblongata—that’s the haha part—but stay in your frontal lobe, where the memories are. My memes would be so deeply ingrained in your unconscious mind you wouldn’t even know why you loved my meme so much. It’d be like those old, sad losers who just go to Kevin Costner’s baseball field in that baseball movie. You know what? Maybe I’ll make a meme about that. That’s kind of an ironic throwback.

Or maybe I’ll make a meme about memes—a meme only a meme could love? Do memes like other memes or are they too competitive for that, like humans?

My memes will just live in the moment. Like, maybe I’ll make a meme that’s just a blank white space. Another thing I know that you don’t is that the word “meme” in French means “same.” That’s gotta count for something.

I don’t have a computer though, and I think WiFi will give me brain cancer, so I stay off the internet. That’s the thing. I don’t think that should be a problem though because the creative mind lives off the screen. I don’t need a blinking cursor and an HTML to make meme magic. I just need the wind through my hair and sunshine on my head. The clouds that blink past like blip . . . blip . . . blip . . . All that crap that happened before Youtube.

There’s also this internet café not too far from my apartment. And at the public library there’s this tech IT guy who helps me with technology stuff. Do they know their helping the next great meme generator? Of course not. And do I tell them? I don’t have to. Not because I don’t want to share the profits with them—honestly, I’ll drop all the money down from a helicopter all over the city. It’s not about that. It’s not about achieving acceptance with my peers or the IT guy who just graduated undergrad from some top-tier school. It’s not even about connecting with others, seeking humanity through the computer screen.

It’s never been about anything, anything at all.